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Baby Shower Shenanigans

As I write this, I am getting ready for a baby shower. I guess I was feeling inspired. . . 

Are baby showers necessary? In most cases, yes. Especially for first time moms. It's a great way for friends and family to help the new parents stock up on the essentials. 
But what about the games? Does anyone actually ENJOY these games, or is it just some crazy right of passage to be in charge of the torture when it's time for you to host a shower?
In order for me to keep faith that we haven't collectively lost our minds, I have to believe in the latter. Me? I LOATHE these shenanigans. I mean, may I excuse myself when I see all the giggling ringleaders gathering their supplies for the first, of many "fun" games? Never mind the awkward stares I've received when I've refused to participate. 

So here is the score ladies, either we stand together as adults who refuse to force each other to play these ridiculous games, or we go along as we are . . . silently grumbling about how we all hate the torture, but do it anyway. 
The top 8 baby shower games we all claim to love to hate . . . 

"My Water Broke"
Object: Freeze tiny babies inside ice cubes. The first person to find a "freed" baby in their glass wins. Okay, while this isn't mortifying, I would prefer not to have a fetus floating around in my beverage. 

"Guess That Baby Food"
Object: Participants are asked to guess the flavors of unlabeled baby food. I suppose the "winner" is the person with the most refined palate. 
This is disgusting. Maybe it is my aversion to even feeding my son this mystery mush, but no thank you. I will pass. 

"Diaper Derby"
Object: Armed with a roll of toilet paper, choose a member of your team to model a D.I.Y. diaper. 
I'm sorry, but when I think of adult diapers, I can only think of this story . . .

"Drink Up Baby"
Object: This one isn't so bad. Everyone is given a baby bottle, filled with a beverage of choice, and made to "chug". The first to finish wins. Depending on the age of the audience, and the beverages chosen, this could be a fun one to witness. Sort of. In my opinion, there is still a certain level of creep when adults act like babies. 

"Guess How Big Mommy Is"
Object: Cut a piece of string/yarn to the length you think will fit around the guest of honor. Then you get to face her as you see if your guess fits. Herein lies the problem. There is NO winner in this game. Either you cut your piece too short, and she is reminded how big she has gotten, or you cut it too long and she knows she looks bigger than she feels. Either way, it's a special kind of torture. 

"Don't Say Baby"
Object: Everyone get a clothes pin, and are told they cannot say "baby" for the rest of the day. If someone hears you say "baby" they can come and steal your pin. The person that has collected the most pins at the end of the day wins. Man, this is a challenging one. 
"BABY! Oh no, I lose?!?"

"Blindfolded Diaper Relay"
Object: While blindfolded, each member of your team must change a diaper on a doll as fast as possible. Wait . . . is this fun? I do this every night, in total darkness. I'll pass, thanks.

"Dirty Diapers"

Object: Inside of a disposable diaper being passed in front of you, lies a melted chocolate candy bar. Smell, touch, or taste the mystery "poo" to enter your best guess. I am currently dry heaving at the very thought of this one. Seriously? This activity HAD to be thought up by a real sicko. BLEH!

When it came time for my shower, I decided I would break the mold. My Mom offered to host my shower, which was perfect. I knew she had the same feelings about baby showers, so I knew I was safe from any surprise "fun". Also, I am a bit of a control freak, and I knew she would let me be involved in the process. We are both pretty crafty, so we focused on decorations and collaborative projects (optional participation, obviously)
I thought it would be fun to share some of the ideas we came up with. 

1&2 - Chocolate candy favors, with D.I.Y. tags
3 - Jones Soda bottles with pieces of an aqua boa hot glued to the cap
4&5 - Handmade Tissue Ball Decorations. SOOOOO Easy!
6 - Seuss Centerpiece
7&8 - Yarn "filler" decorations
9 - Green Eggs and Ham (thanks A. Sandy!)
10 - D.I.Y. "Speck" from Horton Hears a Who (Carved from a florist cone, painted and feathered)
11&12 - Group craft (everyone wrote a message or two for Jackson on some puzzle pieces. I have yet to put this one together, but it turned out super cute!)
13, 14&15 - Pictures from my photo booth

Now, to my friends reading this . . . This post is not meant to single you out. Most baby showers I have attended have featured at least one of these stupid games, and yours is probably no exception. I still love you, and I participated anyway. I am just glad you don't need another shower. :)


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