Skip to main content

I'm leaving on a jet plane . . .

As I sit here writing, I should be packing my suitcase. I should be doing laundry. I should be packing Jackson's things. I should be folding diapers. I should be sleeping!


I have been working for the same company for going on 13 years now. While it has subsided dramatically, a great deal of my career has been spent on the road. Since long before I had Jackson, the most stressful times for me were the nights before leaving on a trip. I have always been terrified of sleeping through my alarm. 


This act itself, is a reasonable fear, right? Who hasn't done that at least once? That moment, just after you open your eyes, when you are stretching and feeling rested, thinking about getting up and . . . OMG OMG OMG WHAT TIME IS IT!?!? 

This borders on obsessive for me though. I would literally rather stay up the entire night, than chance my oversleeping. I have, on more than one (hundred) occasions, been known to sleep holding my phone just under my chin so there is no chance of missing my alarm. Oh wait, is it on silent? Is it tunred up enough? Is it set to PM accidentally? Crap, I think I will need more time, I should set it earlier. Yep. . . totally normal, Jen. 

Things change once you have kids, I've found. Now it has transformed into a downright PARALIZING fear! What gives? I even try to make sure that my flights are late enough where I could not possibly miss them. Phew, I don't fly out until 1:30pm. Maybe I will get an hour or two of solid rest in then. 

This has just opened up a brand new worry for me. I have never questioned "Will I forget anything?". . . I have only ever thought "What will I be forgetting?" I have a mental list that plays on a loop as I do my last minute LOADS of laundry. I write it out. I check it twice. All that considered, I have only forgotten anything important MAYBE twice. The rest could always be replaced with a quick trip to Target.

I have known about this trip for weeks. I have had plenty of time to prepare mentally. I have no excuse for doing laundry at 12:30am. Yet here I sit. Once I am seated safely on the plane, I will feel a little better. I suppose tackling this ridiculous fear, should be a goal in 2013. 
Is this normal, or should I be booking my next flight to Crazy-Town U.S.A.? 

Strangely enough . . . coming home doesn't have nearly the same effect on me. Maybe it's because I am coming home to this . . .


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Awful Blessing . . .

You read that right . . . The past several months have literally been LIFE ALTERING. I am, however, choosing to look at this situation that I find myself in as a gift that I am not allowed to open. YET.  A gift that I KNOW is there. I don't yet know what it is.  I don't yet know how I will use it.  I don't yet know if it will fit.  I don't yet know if it's what I've always wanted. No amount of shaking the box, or tossing out guesses wi ll clear up the mystery.  So I wait.   I will admit that th ere are times when I wonder who I am, now that I am not "Jen with Alterna" . . .  or "Jen with Aloxxi".  Now I am just Jen with Jackson This 'gift' may not have been my choice, but this much I know . . . I have gotten to spend almost  1/2 of my son's second year/ bonding and just hanging out with him. I would not trade that for ANYTHING in the world.  I have come to know the generosity of others in im

Cloth V.S. Disposable . . . It's not just about the environment

So here I was again, pregnant with my son and trying to wade through the virtual piles of research I had compiled on diaper options. You would think this would be a super easy decision . . . but I was a Crunchy mom-to-be in a world full of Cashmere and Silk. As a matter of fact, before I joined my Bradley Group, I only knew one person cloth diapering . . . and she is over 500 miles away. Thank you 'neighbor'. You know who you are, and you know I love ya ! This is what I knew * Cloth is better for the environment - Less waste in the landfills * I really wanted to make cloth work, long before I found out I was pregnant * My son is worth all the hard work. 'Wait . . . how hard will it be?" * Baby butts wearing a cloth diaper are simply ADORABLE !   This is what I was told *"Cloth diapers smell so bad, even when they are just wet" *"It is so much easier to use disposables" *&q

I May Be Single, But My Life Is FULL . . .

"Oh, you're single? I'm sorry" "You just haven't met 'the one' yet" "Don't be so jaded . . . not every man is bad" "Don't worry, there is a soul mate for everyone" "You WILL find love again, when you least expect it" "You really need to think about a male role model for Jackson" "What are you going to do when Jackson leaves home?" "Your son can't be your best friend" "Don't you get lonely?" Among others, these wonderful sentiments have all been offered to me over the past few years, since before I had Jackson.  While I know that every single one came from a place of love . . .  I cannot help but feel a little judged.  Here is the deal.  There is no need to be sorry for assuming that I am married.  I am not at all worried about finding a soul mate.  I do NOT think that all men, or even most men are jerks.  As strange