Skip to main content

Wait for it...

Let's talk about Pink Eye. 
It is such a disgusting infection, don't you think?
Obviously, it cannot be helped by antibiotics or with any natural remedy 
(like breast milk)

Know what else is disgusting? 

Eyelids on boys. 
Boy's eyelids are not at all necessary, and I am fairly certain that boys were born with them by mistake. 
They are just like a flap of extra face skin, with no purpose, definitely not meant to protect their eyeballs. 
I know men who haven't had their eyelids removed, and they are ALWAYS made fun of growing up.
Girls don't have to worry about this, because they can figure out how to keep their eyelids clean.  

Removing my son's eyelids will help prevent him from rubbing his eyes. 
He will have zero self control, and this is a horribly disgusting habit that needs to be stopped anyway. 
Yeah, this will prevent that for sure. 
How do I know? People told me, so it must be true. 
Yeah, this will make him feel normal, and just like everyone else.
This is a personal choice, and I have decided it is best for MY son. 
  
When his eyeball becomes dried out and calloused, unable to function... 
I am sure there will be a blue pill to help with that.
I am getting his eyelids removed while he is young, so he wont remember the pain. 
I have heard they will numb his eyelid, but even if they don't, he will most definitely get a tall glass of sugar water to relieve the pain. 
He will be glad that I did this, so he can look just like all of the other boys that have had their eyelids removed.
THAT, after all, is the most important thing. 



Let's see if this helps.

Try to swap out the following words...

Pink Eye - Infection
Eyelids - Foreskin
Eye/Eyeball - Penis or Glans
Rubbing - Masturbating (Go figure)

GET IT!?!?
If you want to know more... please click HERE


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Amber Teething Necklaces . . . Hippie Hype?

Want to win a FREE Amber Teething Necklace?  Scroll down for GIVEAWAY link... "Awwww, What's his na . . . oh sorry HER name?" (as Jackson's Amber necklace peeks out of his collar) Please don't get me wrong, I am in no way offended by this simple assumption. But I'm sorry, have you seen this kid? He is ALL boy, if I've ever seen one. Jackson sporting his Amber necklace in polished yellow Now back to the necklace. About one week before my lil' monster decided to make his earthly debut, I got a little package in the mail that I was really excited about. It was a Dark Cherry Raw Amber* Teething Necklace. It was so cool that I wanted one for myself. I had only recently learned some pretty interesting things about Amber. First things first, the most common question I have heard . . . Is it for chewing? No, it most definitely is not. It actually warms to the body temperature, and then releases trace amounts of a natural healing substance cal...
11 comments
Read more

Cloth V.S. Disposable . . . It's not just about the environment

So here I was again, pregnant with my son and trying to wade through the virtual piles of research I had compiled on diaper options. You would think this would be a super easy decision . . . but I was a Crunchy mom-to-be in a world full of Cashmere and Silk. As a matter of fact, before I joined my Bradley Group, I only knew one person cloth diapering . . . and she is over 500 miles away. Thank you 'neighbor'. You know who you are, and you know I love ya ! This is what I knew * Cloth is better for the environment - Less waste in the landfills * I really wanted to make cloth work, long before I found out I was pregnant * My son is worth all the hard work. 'Wait . . . how hard will it be?" * Baby butts wearing a cloth diaper are simply ADORABLE !   This is what I was told *"Cloth diapers smell so bad, even when they are just wet" *"It is so much easier to use disposables" *...
9 comments
Read more

Mother's Day . . . What EXACTLY were you expecting?!?

So ladies, I know I am not going to gain a popularity award with this post, but I'm ok with that. I have been a single mom since the very beginning of my pregnancy, so Mother's Day tends to look quite different in our family than most others that I know. Let me ask you this . . . When you decided to become a mom, which of the following "perks" weighed in on your decision? One day a year, you look forward to a "bouquet" of gas station flowers. (I mean, who DOESN'T love Baby's Breath?!?) One day a year, you look forward to getting a massage. (Yup . . . once a year makes such a difference . . . SOOO relaxing!) One day a year, you look forward to getting a three minute foot rub. (Just imagine what would happen if he stopped THIS foot rub because "his hands got tired") One day a year, you look forward to getting a piece of jewelry that you don't need, or really LIKE for that matter. ("Gee, thanks ...
2 comments
Read more