RoShamBaby

You read that right . . . The past several months have literally been LIFE ALTERING. I am, however, choosing to look at this situation that I find myself in as a gift that I am not allowed to open. YET.  A gift that I KNOW is there. I don't yet know what it is.  I don't yet know how I will use it.  I don't yet know if it will fit.  I don't yet know if it's what I've always wanted. No amount of shaking the box, or tossing out guesses wi ll clear up the mystery.  So I wait.   I will admit that th ere are times when I wonder who I am, now that I am not "Jen with Alterna" . . .  or "Jen with Aloxxi".  Now I am just Jen with Jackson This 'gift' may not have been my choice, but this much I know . . . I have gotten to spend almost  1/2 of my son's second year/ bonding and just hanging out with him. I would not trade that for ANYTHING in the world.  I have come to know the generosity of others in im...

I have found myself in a situation that is completely new to me. It's hard to admit that I am not The Great and Powerful Jen, able to handle everything on my own . . . from behind the curtain.  ". . . pay no attention. . . " As hard as it was to do . . . I needed to ask for help. In the past 2 years, I have been working on paying it forward whenever I can. It's never been much, but I discovered that it filled my heart and soul in ways that I needed. In ways that are hard to explain. On occasion, I would go onto this site called GoFundMe . I was moved by so many of the stories, but even more so by the generosity of strangers. Some of the stories brought me to tears. From time to time, I would see a friend post a link about a friend or family member in need. I have even had some close friends turn to this resource to seek help. NEVER did I imagine that I would be in the position where I would be telling my story there. Reaching out to friends, family and str...

It has been nearly 2 1/2 years, I think it's about time to tell our story.  After all, my experiences on September 16th 2011 have led me down a path that I otherwise wouldn't have traveled.  While Jackson was not planned, finding out I was pregnant was a wonderful surprise. This will be a very long and detailed story. If you do not wish to read about the details of my birth, please stop here. :) I had an amazing pregnancy, and felt stronger, happier and healthier than I have felt in my whole life. My EDD (estimated due date) was 9/10/11. At that point, I was feeling some pretty intense back pain, so I was ready to meet my little man. However, he had other plans.  At my 40 week midwife appointment, I was told that if I didn't go into labor on my own by 41 weeks, I would need to be induced.  I told her I wouldn't be doing that.  It was pretty disheartening to learn that even midwives offer this type of fear based mis-information.  Six day...

"Oh, you're single? I'm sorry" "You just haven't met 'the one' yet" "Don't be so jaded . . . not every man is bad" "Don't worry, there is a soul mate for everyone" "You WILL find love again, when you least expect it" "You really need to think about a male role model for Jackson" "What are you going to do when Jackson leaves home?" "Your son can't be your best friend" "Don't you get lonely?" Among others, these wonderful sentiments have all been offered to me over the past few years, since before I had Jackson.  While I know that every single one came from a place of love . . .  I cannot help but feel a little judged.  Here is the deal.  There is no need to be sorry for assuming that I am married.  I am not at all worried about finding a soul mate.  I do NOT think that all men, or even most men are jerks.  As strange...

It was this time last year that I decided to embark on this journey called RoShamBaby.  Where has the time gone?  Why have I let so much time pass since my last post? In the past year, I have . . .  Smiled Laughed Been Busy Felt Inspired Experienced Joy Began a New Job Felt Overwhelmed Suffered from Confusion Experienced Sadness Divorced My Job Procrastinated Felt Centered Been Bored Traveled Dreamed Cried I guess it's safe to say that LIFE HAPPENED.  Well, it is time to get back on track. It is so easy to let life get in the way, instead of making sure to stay the course. For me, it's necessary to embrace the bumps as PART of my life, instead of thinking of them as obstacles.  I spent the second half of 2013 with writers block . . . thinking that I didn't have anything interesting to say. With a friendly nudge, I now realize that "interesting" topics are relative.  So interesting or not, ...